Things I have learned about car buying over the years.

"My citroen won't start" (lucasboechat)
08/24/2016 at 18:04 • Filed to: SHITPOST O CLOCK

After a couple years of terrible life choices and (great) unreliable cars I have come up with these rules, feel free to discuss and add others.

Cars for personal use are almost never an investment, don’t lie to yourself.

Buying a car and complaining about upkeep costs is like moving to the Sahara desert and complaining that the sun is too hot and the nights are too cold.

Never ever buy a car with a light colored leather interior if it has a matching colored steering wheel. Specially if you plan on keeping it for too long. Shit gets stained and wear on light colored leather steering wheels are tough to hide. Clear interiors are always better with black steering wheels.

Mismatched tires, foggy headlights and questionable modifications (eg. installing a Pioneer screen thing on a early 90's cars) are usually always signs of careless previous owners and shoddy maintenance.

“AC needs a recharge” - “Only needs new battery” - “Easy fix”. Lies, all lies.

Used luxury cars should always be purchased from the first owner. If someone kept a X308 XJ in tip-top shape for all these years you can bet that unspeakable amounts of money were spent on maintenance because the car was loved and cared for.

If the seller can’t be bothered to fix something simple like a broken armrest, they probably didn’t bother fixing a lot of other more important things

Buying a car with non-OEM modifications, even if its just esthetics, is always a gamble, there is no way of knowing what else was done to the car.

Car people are always the best sellers. The difference between a soccer mom LR4 and the DD of a Land Rover aficionado with broken Defenders scattered on his yard can be quite alarming.

This is the most important rule. We are all temporary custodians of our cars, take care of them so the next person can enjoy it as much as you did.

DISCUSSION (25)

TheHondaBro > My citroen won't start
08/24/2016 at 18:10

Kinja'd!!!

CaptDale - is secretly British > TheHondaBro
08/24/2016 at 18:12

You are not wrong, but fucking hell I hate her!

My citroen won't start > TheHondaBro
08/24/2016 at 18:30

Kinja'd!!!

Honeybunchesofgoats > My citroen won't start
08/24/2016 at 18:32

Counterpoints:

3. My Town Car’s headlights are foggy, but I can guarantee you that it’s better maintained, cared for, or loved than any other 16 year old Panther with 200k on the odometer that’s still on the road.

6. I’m the second owner of my X308, and I’ve already put unspeakable amounts of money in to maintaining and caring for it. Admittedly, Craigslist is filled X308s that someone bought and immediately choose to dump once they realized that those cars actually require maintenance, but you can easily identify them, because those are the people who are hilariously asking for 3x Blue Book.

10. I couldn’t disagree more strongly with this. As a buyer, obviously I want everyone to think this way, but my sole motivation in caring for my cars is because they’re mine, I love them, and I have an emotional attachment to them. If my only motivation to keep up my cars was based on passing them on, I certainly would never put more money into maintaining them than I could ever hope to recoup. Hell, if there was no emotional motivation behind it, I don’t see any reason not to just run the car into the ground, donate the carcass to charity, and take the tax write-off.

JR1 > My citroen won't start
08/24/2016 at 18:58

An excellent list

My citroen won't start > JR1
08/24/2016 at 19:03

Kinja'd!!!

Only the best.

Roadster Man > My citroen won't start
08/24/2016 at 19:08

My recommendation: Test drive the car, and test drive it for a while. Go on the highway. Go on the roughest roads in town.

I bought a WRX with mid-range coilovers and I only test drove it around the block. HUGE MISTAKE. The coilovers were total back-breakers. I wanted to sell the car because the suspension made the ride so uncomfortable no matter what adjustments I made. Then it got stolen- blessing in disguise.

I dunno about #10. I plan on driving my Miata until it’s either consumed entirely by rust or is put into a wall at the track. Whichever comes first. Some cars are just destined for destruction.

jimz > My citroen won't start
08/24/2016 at 19:34

I’m on board with this. Especially #2. I can’t believe how many people bitch about the choices they deliberately made.

C62030 > My citroen won't start
08/24/2016 at 19:43

I now know there’s a practical reason for me to dislike light leather steering wheels. I always think they look weird.

pjhusa > My citroen won't start
08/24/2016 at 19:49

YES

C62030 > My citroen won't start
08/24/2016 at 19:50

This better be a deliberate Ashens reference

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > CaptDale - is secretly British
08/24/2016 at 20:27

She’s far less hate-able towards the end of the most recent season. But you’re not wrong.

fourtitude > My citroen won't start
08/24/2016 at 20:58

Couldn't agree more! Owned a x308 xj that I bought off an older gentleman who dearly loved and cared for it. Man do I miss it.

OPPOsaurus WRX > My citroen won't start
08/24/2016 at 21:14

The more parts a car has, the more parts it has to break

My citroen won't start > C62030
08/24/2016 at 21:19

It is

C62030 > My citroen won't start
08/24/2016 at 22:52

Excellence

My citroen won't start > Honeybunchesofgoats
08/24/2016 at 23:27

Those are all exception to the “rule”, I’m not saying all those things are going to happen.

Are all your limbs going to be impaled if you do not keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times? Maybe not, but one should not take the chances.

My citroen won't start > Roadster Man
08/24/2016 at 23:28

See, I think cars that are exciting and cool should be passed on, if you truly love a car the best thing you can give it is a good a future.

My citroen won't start > OPPOsaurus WRX
08/24/2016 at 23:29

Yes, and we still bought a car with air suspension.

My citroen won't start > jimz
08/24/2016 at 23:30

“I CAN’T BELIEVE I NEED A NEW TURBO FOR MY 300K MILE AUDI A6 2.7 TT, GOD DAMNIT”

CaptDale - is secretly British > AMGtech - now with more recalls!
08/25/2016 at 11:56

I am still in like season 2

ateamfan42 > jimz
08/25/2016 at 13:21

They bitch because they made uniformed choices. Sort of like picking out a used car on a lot solely because of color.

TysMagic > My citroen won't start
08/25/2016 at 16:05

I agree fully with all, but number ten. While we are only temporary custodians of our cars, take care of it so you can enjoy it to it’s fullest.

TheNeonDriver - Now with More BMW! > My citroen won't start
08/25/2016 at 16:17

A caveat to #6:

Or from a dealer, with a warranty.

CobraJoe > My citroen won't start
08/25/2016 at 17:30

That’s a great list, and I agree with almost all of it (Foggy headlights aren’t necessarily a symptom of neglect).

Though I would suggest changing #10. Even though I believe you are correct, it’s too depressing thinking about anyone else driving the vehicles we spend so much energy and emotion on.

How about this for phrasing?

“10. This is the most important rule. We are all custodians of our cars, take care of them so that it will take care of you”